Virginia
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Listen to Virginia's interview |
"In some ways, the cancer’s almost a bonus. It has made me really, really, really appreciate life. My goal for the future would be to stop controlling, to listen to people’s stories and give them my attention, and be part of life – just being in the moment. I think I want to live. That’s a big plus for me. It’s a miracle.
"The biggest advice I can say is, if you have a support system, ask for help. If you don’t have one, go to a group. Try to find some kind of help and support. It’s very important, emotionally, mentally. You have to talk it out. You just can’t just go through this, because you end up internalizing it. I cannot tell you how many people I’ve met that have had breast cancer. And people are more than happy to talk about it. Find out about the new drugs, clinical trials, anything that would help. But mostly try to get someone to help you muddle through all this, because there’s a lot of decisions to be made and it can be really hard.
"What I would like people to learn from my having cancer: for one thing, I have a great capacity for love. Yes, I have cancer and it’s horrible, but I’m not in pain, I can still do things, I can still pretty much take care of myself, I can make decisions in my life, and I can love the people around me.
"I heard someone say cancer was a gift, and I thought, these people are nuts! But in some ways it’s a gift of time. My advice to anybody who’s going through this: take charge of your life. The fact is you need to deal with the reality. And once you’ve done that, you can set all that stuff aside and enjoy the time you have left and not dwell on the cancer. Go on and enjoy the Farmer’s Market, or a walk in the woods or sitting on the beach, your friends. We’re given this gift of time that we can decide what we want done.
"I’m going to plan one heck of a party."